Be Different.

I look around at the chaos, and distress, and ask where is God.

How can there be so much pain in one life, one place, one world.

A place of isolation, desolation, and emptiness, a place void of love.

I see the pain on every face, hear the weight of it in every word.

Feel the depth of it in every tear, the power of it in every broken soul.

Where is God in this pain, where is His love in this world.

Why do these things happen, is it because God does not care.

Does He not hear the cry of the broken soul calling out to Him.

Does He not see the tears of pain, will He not look this way.

Is His love to small, can it not find us in our anguish.

Why does God not stop the suicidal teen from taking his life.

Will He not surround him with love and give value to his life.

Why does God allow human trafficking, and child slavery.

Will He not protect His children, will He not provide for them.

Why does God not intervene, why does He stand by in silence.

Why does one child grow up in poverty, while another in plenty.

Why is one child born into love, while another into abuse.

Why is one baby wanted, while another is killed before it lived

Why does one child have a family, while another is orphaned.

Why is one child treated as an object of pleasure, while another is treasured.

Why God, why God do you let this happen, why do you do nothing.

Do you not love your children, do we mean nothing to you.

Have you forgotten us, are we abandoned by the one true thing we have.

Do we have nothing left to cling to, did you chose someone else.

Why God, why do you stand by in silence and do nothing.

I cry out to you for an answer, why are you doing nothing.

You replied "I am", I made you, why are you doing nothing.

I made you so you could make a difference, you have a purpose.

You can change lives, you can change the world, you can end the pain.

You are the answer, your heart is what this world needs,

Father, help me to see as you do, I choose not to be blind.

Help me to be your voice, help me to make a difference.

I want to be your hands, your feet, to end this pain and chaos.

Father break me for what breaks you, choose to use me as you will.

I chose your way, help me to fulfill my purpose.

My purpose is to be God's love to a broken world.

My purpose is to see those that are over looked and unseen.

My purpose it to listen to those that no one cares about.

My purpose it to be a voice for the voiceless.

My purpose is to be different, because Christ is different.

Esther.

Esther is my favorite book and Esther is my favorite bible character, and may always be. I have really enjoyed this week learning even more about her and her story. The book of Esther has a lot to tell us. Did you know that God is not mentioned in the book, but yet it is a powerful story of Gods faithfulness and the power the choices we make have.

The story starts with King Xerxes summoning Queen Vashti and Vashti refusing to come. The reason Vashti did not come at the kings summons was because Xerxes was really asking the Queen to shame herself. Back then royalty did not show them self to the public. The King was asking Vashti to do something that was beneath her. The kings request was actually rude and inappropriate. Besides this the king and his guest where all very drunk at this point from all the partying they had been doing. Vashti would have been aware of this fact and like any woman she knew it would not be a wise choice to be the only women present in a room full of drunk men. Vashti's refusal to obey the kings inappropriate request, lead to her losing her place as Queen. Later Xerxes regrets this decision, so his servants advised him to find another to take Vashtis place. All the young virgins of the land were gathered up and brought to the palace, Esther was among those. Esther wins the favor of the king and becomes Queen. Sometime after this Haman the Agagite (Amalekite) was given a lot of power, which made him very self-centered he expected honor from everyone and when Mordecai the Jew did not bow to him, Haman became infuriated and plotted to kill the Jews. Haman requested the king to make an edict that would destroy the Jews. Haman was very sneaky in the way he presented his request before the king, he told the king that there was a people group that did not keep his laws. Haman did not tell the King that this people group was the Jews. The king granted Haman's request and an edict went out to all the provenances in the kingdom, stating that all the Jews were to be destroyed. When the Jews heard this they where greatly distressed and feared for their lives. Mordecai then appealed to Esther to appeal to the king for her people. Esther has the choice of either abandoning her people, in the hopes that someone else will save them while she hides out in the palace, Or at the risk of her life appear before the king and plead for the life of her people. Esther chose the lives of her people over her own, and interceded on behalf of her people. In the end the king helped Esther and her people defeat their enemies. These enemies were the Amalekites, the Amalekites were the first people to attack the Isrealites as they came out of Egypt. The Israelites defeated them, but the Amalekites did not give up easily they continued attack the Israelites making it difficult for them to enter the promise land. So God cursed the Amalekites, commanding His people to destroy them. The Israelites were not faithful in their obedience to this command and let some of them live. Haman is a descendant of one of those Amalekites. He followed right along with the history of his people and attacked the Jews, but when the Jews destroyed Haman and his family, they fulfilled the curse that God had put on the Amalekites. Even through God is not mentioned in this book, it is still a story of God protecting and caring for His people. The story of Esther is also a powerful example of how the choices we make impact those around us, and that we have a purpose. Our purpose it to be God's image bearers. We live in a broken world that is in desperate need of God's love. God's love is already in this world we are just unaware of it, because in someway Satan has blinded us to His love. Maybe you do not know how to receive love, and since your cannot receive love, love does not seem to be there. Or maybe you do not understand how big and powerful God's steadfast love is, and since you do not know what love is you cannot find it in this world. Or maybe you are someone who understand God's love, and you know how to give and receive love. If you are this person you have a choice to make, a choice that has the ability to impact thousands of lives. Your choice is to step into your purpose as God's image bearer and be God's love to this world, help those that are blind to God love find His love. Or you can continue to live as you are enjoying God's love yourself, ignoring the rest of the world. The impact God's love makes on a person and in that persons life is amazing. And if that person shares God's love with another, and that person with another and so on the impact is huge. The point is we have the power to change the world, and make an impact lives, and all we have to do is to live out the Purpose God gave us.

The Sacrifice.

As part of this school we have been doing a word study on steadfast love. I love this assignment, every time I do it I am so encouraged and fall more in love with God.  I have spent the last week thinking about all the things God has been showing me about his love through this assignment, and this lead me to think about the different powers that control our life. Through this I thought about how fear is Satan's most powerful weapon, and love is God's most powerful weapon. They are powerful forces that are in constant use in the spiritual battle the rages around us. As I was processing all of this I wrote some of my thought out in a poem. I thought I would share it with you, I hope you find it encouraging.

The Sacrifice.

Hidden in the secret place were all is still and quite.

Amongst the chaos, and rubble, surrounded by thorns

There it stands, forgotten, unused and crumbling.

It is waiting for me to come and remove the chaos

Waiting to be rebuilt and repaired, waiting for me

In its place stands another, full of deception, and deceit

Its mask is quite and rest, in reality it is chaos

There it stands strong, well visited and remembered

It's power is controlling me, it's grasp I can't escape

waiting to be demolished and destroyed, waiting for it's fate.

It's name it fear, with great power it wields it's control

In its control there is no peace, nor rest, nor beauty, only chaos

It's power, is enslaving, imprisoning, and manipulating

It has taken me captive, a slave I have become

When will rescue come, when will I be free

O how long, O fear will you reign, how long will you be king

When will your power cease, when will your control end

How long O fear, will your kingdom have dominion,

When will its walls come crashing down, when will it lay in desolation

O fear how long will I let your power control me, when will I defeat you

Fear I have had enough, no longer will you imprison me

No longer will your disguise fool me, no more will you deceive me

No longer will I let you shape and mold me, I no longer want to be who you created

Fear your reign is at its end, your kingdom has fallen, defeat is all you have

In desolation you shall lay, in despair you shall live, for your defeat has come

For I remember the secret place and what is hidden there, waiting for me

I have returned to repair and rebuild, I am removing the chaos, and the thorns

I am here to use what is mine, this gift from God, this place is mine

My altar I have rebuilt and repaired, it no long stands forgotten

No long will it wait, no long will it stand unused, for I have returned

O fear, long has been your reign, strong has been your power

Today O fear your fate has been sealed, for to the altar I have brought you

To the altar you have been brought, this is your end, this is where you stay

Today I am sacrificing you, today you are being slain, this altar is where you stay

O fear long has been your reign, long has been your dominion,

Today at this altar I am ending your reign, I am ending your control

On this altar I place you, no longer will you be the center of my life

I am laying down all the pain, and rejection you created within me

At the altar I give it to you my savior and King, here fear is defeated

At the altar fear was slain, on the Altar fear was defeated

Fear has lost its power, fear has lost its place

I have found another to take its place, another to reign

This one wears no mask, this one has no disguise

This one is true, this one is faithful

This one is love and steadfast is its name

Take your place O love, begin your reign

Rebuild your kingdom, repair your temple

You have found your place, Your place is in the center

O love, long will you reign, longer will you rule

O love, steadfast and true.

O love, come take me captive, your slave I will become

In your chains I am free, in your prison I found freedom

O love, In your control I shall remain, in your power I shall live

Mold and shape me, your creation I shall be, a living artwork for all to see

O love, steadfast and true.

Fear has lost is power, fear has lost its place

Love has taken over, love is here to reign

Love is at the center, my life I have regained

Love is here to stay, in love I shall remain

O faithful love, steadfast and true.

Reading Week.

This week has been filled with the law, curses and blessing, and stumbling through many unpronounceable names. In five days we read through Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1&2 Samuel, 1&2, Kings, 1&2 chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Ecclesiastes. It has been a journey and I am sure the Israelite would agree with me.

                                                      This is what my week looked like

                                 And this is what my bible looks like after this week.

These books are filled with God's steadfast love and faithfulness to His people. When creating the Law God thought of everything they would need.Think about it this was a group of 3 million people camping in the wilderness, and if they did not obey the law and all the regulations God gave them they would have died of disease. God told them all they needed know to stop any disease from spreading and killing them all off.
These books are also filled with many stories about God staying faithful to His promises to His people. His people were not always faithful to Him, and they did many things that God never wanted to happen, but He always kept and fulfilled every promise He made. I am thankful to have a God filled with steadfast love, and faithfulness.

Mark

The gospel of Mark was written to redefine Jesus' identity as the Messiah. Mark wrote this book to Gentiles, and suffering Christians that were being persecuted after Nero burned Rome and blamed it on them. The Christians during this time of suffering were questioning who God is, and this lead to a falling away from Christ. Mark saw this and wanted to encourage, and strengthen there faith. With the help of Peter, Mark wrote the gospel of Mark. If you have read Mark you may have noticed that Jesus is always telling people, and demons not to tell any one who He is, and that Jesus is identified as the Messiah three times in the book. Once in the beginning, once in the middle, and then again at the end.  The whole book of Mark is structured around the revealing of Jesus' identity as the Messiah. When Mark wrote this he purposefully only identified Jesus as the Messiah three times to draw attention to it. Mark wanted the stories and parables to show us Jesus as the Messiah rather then repeatedly telling us by giving Him the title.  He wanted Jesus actions and words to speak for them self, and tell us who Jesus really is. Mark is filled with stories of the disciples failing to see Jesus' true identity. Sometimes I fill just like them. I have always had expectations of who I thought God should be and how He should respond to me. But God never meet my expectations, He exceeded them, because His way of responding is what I really needed. And believe me it was awesome. Also the disciples had a problem with faith they saw Jesus doing all kind of miracles everyday, yet they always seemed to doubt Him. Sometimes faith is a hard thing to have at times. I have had times when I feel like I just do not have faith, my problems seem to be twice the size of God and there is nothing He can do. It is like I forgot all the past things God has done for me and the way He has taken care of me. My faith feels so small during times like this, but that is all that God is asking for. He does not expect me to have a large amount of faith in Him all the time. because He sees what I am going through he knows that it is hard. All He is asking of me is to give him the little bit of faith I have and give him room to move. When I surrender the little I have to Him He will accept and honor it. Then through seeing Him do the impossible with the little I gave Him my faith will grow. Next time I will have a little more to give Him. I think this is the message Mark was trying to give to tell the original hearers of his book. God was not what they were expecting, He is so much more, give Him the little bit of faith you have and He will do the impossible. And at the same time He will surround you with His steadfast love.

The Greatest Expectation

I am waiting here for you, with great expectation

I am watching carefully for your arrival

I am looking for my King to came with great might

I am seeking Him with all my heart.

O Jesus, Son of man won't you come, and take your stand.

I am here, waiting for you, with great expectation

I have arrived, I am watching you with care.

I came on the great night, look I am your King.

You have My heart, I am seeking you

Jesus, King of Kings, has come, and taken His place

Look there He is, He has come and is waiting for you

I looked but did not see, I am watching but I am blind.

You have given me Your heart, You are seeking me out

I did not recognize your heart, I did not see your love.

O Jesus Son of man won't you come and take your stand.

Jesus where is your love

Why can I not see your heart

I look for you, but do not see you

My eyes are open, but they are blind

Jesus, remove my blindness

Take away the darkness

My eyes long to see the light

My soul longs to know your glory

Jesus, where is your love

Why can I not feel your touch

Are your arms to short

can you not reach me

I am reaching for you.

I wanted a King, a mighty warrior to end this suffering

I wanted a Kingdom, and a ruler that would last for ever

I wanted the pain and trials to stop, no more fleeing

I wanted, I expected, I looked, but clearly I did not see.

O Jesus Son of Man won't you come and take your stand

As a baby you came on that great night,

To rule a kingdom filled with faithlessness

You served, suffered, You gave Your life

You did not meet my expectation, but yours.

Jesus Messiah, King of Kings, You came.

At the foot of Your throne.

At the foot of Your throne, I sat and pondered,

I looked in the sea of glass, like a crystal mirror

I saw before me a great power, like that of a miracle.

It overwhelmed me like a hurricane

At the foot of Your throne I found it.

Jesus, You gave it all, all for me you gave it

How did I not see this love for me.

How can my heart be so cold, and closed

Could I not feel the warmth of your embrace.

Did I really push You away and seal my heart

At the foot of Your throne, I sat and pondered

I saw it in the rainbow, like a mirage of mystery

I saw this fierce power, like that of a mighty gall

It overpowered me, like a tsunami

At the foot of Your throne I found

Jesus, You gave it to me, just for me you gave it

I did not see it at first, I did not want it

How cold I be so ungrateful and uncaring

Could I not feel grace in your embrace

Did I really say go away, and seal off my heart

At the foot of Your throne, I sat and cried

I saw it there, in the sea of glass,like a crystal mirror

I saw it there in the rainbow, like a mirage of mystery,

It overwhelmed,and overpowered me like a cyclone

At the foot of Your throne I found it.

Jesus, you gave it to me, all for me you gave it.

Now I see it the love behind this ring, I see it

How could I say no, I could not accept.

I feel the love of your grace and your embrace

Did you really say you are mine, and seal my heart.

At the foot of Your throne, I stood and waited

I felt it here, in the peals of thunder, like a trumpet call

I felt it in the flash of lighting, like a flaming torch

You overpowered and overwhelmed me like a typhoon

At the foot of Your throne I am found

The covenant was long awaited and anticipated,

The beauty of this covenant, is that of every jewel

The commitment of this covenant, is that of true love

the relationship of this covenant is that of Gods dwelling

At the foot of Your throne I surrender to you, for your bride I have become.